Gender differences in discourse

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 429.

Ø Men tend to interrupt women more often, but they hate being interrupted :”Don't interrupt me!”.

Ø In mixed-sex conversations both men and women interrupt partners of opposite sex

Ø Men may & do reject topics suggested by women while women discuss issues offered by men

Ø Women use hm & mm more significantly and more often , especially in woman – woman conversations

Ø Men use more commands, particularly in man-woman conversations

Ø Women use more interrogatives, particularly modalised (Would you mind…) and declarative clauses (I wonder if …), generally women are more polite

Ø Women use more hedges (I think, probably, if you don't mind, I was wondering if you could…- double modality)

Ø Women use I know 5 times more often than men (Holmes 1986)

Women Men

I mean 77 20

Well 65 45

Just 57 48

I think 36 12

Sort of 35 10

Ø Women use more tags

Ø Women use more conservative patterns

Ø Males' speech is more monotonous. Men use 3 tones, while women use 5 tones,

Ø Men are more successful in lying on the phones, but are unlikely to outperform women in lying

Ø Men produce shorter sentences, but more logical and better structured

Ø Women use simultaneously many lines in conversation while men speak in turns.

Ø Men use a turn-taking technique, women speak all together. It is a cross-cultural universal

Ø Women leave sentences incomplete more often

Ø Women use more interjections as they are more emotional

Ø Women tend to use double negation

Ø Women use more superlatives, metaphors (gorgeous, divine, splendid, fabulous, marvelous), collocations like awfully pretty, terribly nice

Ø Women tend to use direct quotation without transformation

Ø Approximation words (about, around, sort of, kind of ) are more typical of women's speech

Ø Slangy and vulgar words occur more often in men's speech

Ø Silence of women is viewed as manifestation of passivity and powerlessness.

Ø Men use silence as a weapon of institutional power in corporate discourse and generally make longer pauses than women

Ø Within family discourse husbands practice silence more often as one of tactics

Ø The biggest challenge for women is to interpret men correctly. Some warning signals:

Man Woman

I'm OK I know it's wrong. What is it?

I'm fine But you seem upset. Let's have a talk

It's nothing I want to help you. I know something is bothering you

It's no problem But it is a problem. I'd like to help you

Ø Women use more generalisations:

Ø Women Men

We never go out

Everyone ignores me

I want to forget everything

I'm so tired, I can't do anything → It's ridiculous, you are not helpless

The house is always in a mess → But it is not always in a mess

No one listens to me anymore → But I'm listening to you right now

Nothing is working → Are you saying it's my fault?

We are always in a hurry. → We are not.

I want more romance → Are you saying I'm not romantic?

You don't love me

Ø Avoidance & negation are two key points of masculine discourse

Men hear and spot negation even in affirmative sentences:

Ø Woman → The message he hears

Ø How could you be so late? Why didn't you call? What am I supposed to think? →

There is no good reason for you to be late. You are irresponsible. I would never be late

Ø How could you forget? When will you ever remember? How am I supposed to trust you? → You are stupid. You can't be trusted.

Ø When will you ever learn? → Nothing will ever change you. You are incompetent

Ø Men use the Passive Voice quite often while speaking about women because of culturally accepted female passivity (to be walked home, to be picked up, to be taken)

Ø Men are conflict-oriented in their behavior, women turn out to be consolidating

Ø Men prefer vertical relations, women favor horizontal lines

Ø Business changed women's discursive strategies, they borrow masculine patterns, tend to be tough and uncompromising.

Ø In the business macho world women either have to become man-like or to resign

Ø But despite those changes in speech patterns and being naturally talkative, women are afraid to utter a word in disputes in business schools

Flirtology

Ø Flirting is not about how clever or beautiful t you are, it's about signals you send out. Do not look down at the pavement, make eye contact possible.

Ø Be positive. If you constantly whining that you don't have a boyfriend you are squashing your inner flirt. Think positive and activate you inner flirt.

Ø Don't be afraid to take risks, successful flirts take risks. Guys are thick-skinned creatures, if he is afraid to approach you, make first move

Ø Good mood is necessary to flirt. Listen to your favourite CD, dance around for 5 minutes. Think about sth funny.

Ø Pick the right flirting venue- coffee-shops, bars are good, restaurants and cinemas where people prefer to be alone are the worst places.

Ø Aim your beam wide before you narrow your beam to one person. Scan with a smile on your face and you'll find if not MR Right then someone good.

Ø The best flirt tip in the world - look at someone until he looks at you, keep your gaze for a second or two, take off your eyes, look again in several seconds until you get him hooked.

Ø The best flirt tip in the world - look at someone until he looks at you, keep your gaze for a second or two, take off your eyes, look again in several seconds until you get him hooked.

Ø Don't get frustrated if you don't get immediate results of your flirting, there are no failures. (NLP ) Forget rejection, everyone was rejected in his lifetime, instead of thinking about the past, move on..

Ø Look at other people flirting to get some experience but do not copy other people.

Ø Dress to impress, look gorgeous and you'll feel fantastic. Make clothes reflect what you are. Dressing against your personality is flirting no-no. Always wear what you feel gives out the right signals of your personality.

Ø Improve your posture – stand up straight

Ø Hang around with happy people – happiness is infectious

Ø Watch your flirtometer and flirt with single guys of your age group

Ø Flirt for fun, don't be overly suggestive, it's not the same as flirting

Ø Notice his signals when he singles you from the group, asks personal questions, brushes against you accidentally. The opposite signals are asking no questions, calling you by sb's else name.

Ø Ask intelligent questions, with those me-me-me questions you'll scare any guy

Ø Be positive about yourself, speak about your good qualities, emphasize your good points, don't fish for compliments putting yourself down. Don't forget about jokes and humor but start with normal conversation opener.

Ø Perfect/ tune your pose, be on the same level. Mirror him : adopt the same volume and speed of speech, use similar phrases and words, sit in a similar fashion, copy positive body language, decipher his body language but don't jump at the conclusions about it.

Ø Learn to accept a compliment, it is offensive to throw the compliment back or it is a signal that you don't want to hear nice things about yourself

Ø Ask open-end questions not the ones which require yes or no answer, guys like to talk about themselves but they don't like too emotional questions

Ø Don't be too critical , don't judge him too harshly

Ø Tease him

Ø Don't flirt with his friends

Ø Avoid fast flirting, do not overdo, no one wants to date a ‘yes' girl

Ø Smile secretly, it helps to win affection

Ø Give compliments., but be aware that people can spot fake ones a mile off

Ø Address your interlocutor using his name

Ø Keep your conversation lively

Ø Don't be afraid to take flirting to another level – ask for his e-mail address or pass him mobile number but don't send him e-mail every 5 minutes, don't sit by the phone, show him you have life, keep flirting

List of literature

1. LANGUAGE AND DESIRE. Encoding sex, romance and intimacy. Edited by Keith Harvey and Celia Shalom.-2003.267p.
2. Aries, Elizabeth Men and Women in Interaction. –Oxford, 1996.-310p.
3. Language and Gender PENELOPE ECKERT SALLY McCONNELL-GINET.-2003.- 379p.
4. Howson, Alexandra Embodying Gender.- 2005.-190p.
5. Naik, Anita Flirtology. 100 ways to release your inner flirt.- .Holder Children's books Limited.- 2004
6. Лукьянова Т.Г. Вільні атрибутивні словосполучення як засіб обєктивації гендерних стереотипів (на матеріалі сучасного британського газетного дискурсу).- Автореф. Дис. …к.ф.н. 10.02.04 – Харків, 2009
7. Гридасова О.В. Oсобливості актуалізації стереотипних ролей в англомовному сімейному конфліктному дискурсі.- АКД, Харків.- 2010.-20с.
8. Емірсуїнова Г.І. автореф. Дис…к.ф.н.