SWITCHING SIDES

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 532.

ELEMENTARY, MR PRESIDENT

One day George Bush is going to give a speech at an Elementary School. He asks the teacher what the children are studying and she replies that they are learning about Greek Tragedies. So the President decides to talk about Tragedies.

He asks a student, "What would you consider to be a tragedy?"

The kid thinks for awhile and then says, "If a boy is running after a ball into a street and gets run over by a car and dies."

Bush responds, "No, I don't think that's a tragedy... that's an accident." Then Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.

The kid says, "If a bus full of kids drives over a cliff and they all die."

This time Bush says, "I don't think that's a tragedy... I think that's a great loss." So again Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.

The kid responds, "If you and Dick Cheney are on Air Force One and it crashes."

"Right!" says Bush to the kid. "That would be a tragedy... how did you ever know that?"

Quickly, the kid replies, «Because I know it's not an accident and I know it's not a great loss."

A life long supporter of the Labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"

The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

A POLITICIAN LEAVING POLITICS

Funny Quotations J J J Politicians, like underwear, should be changed often, and for the same reasons. There are two sides to every issue, and a politician usually takes both. An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. Simon Cameron Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. John Kenneth Galbraith Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. Winston Churchill

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) US humorist & showman. You'll come across a lot of his quotations further in the book.   Will Rogers

Good Alarm in My Car A man parks his car in front of the main entrance of the Congress. Immediately, a member of the security team goes after him yelling, "Sir! Sir! You cannot park in here! All the congressmen are about to go out!" The man replies, "Don't worry! I have a good alarm in my car."   Bureaucracy Let's play a game, it's called bureaucracy, the first one to do anything loses.

"He's a very high-tech guy - He handles all his bribes through e-bay."