Family Affairs

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 399.

The family is recognised all over the world as the basic unit of a society. Every state pays much attention to the family and provides it with all possible support. If we want to find an answer to the question why the state is so much concerned about the family we have to understand the role of it. The oldest function of the family is the reproductive one. The state, reflecting the demand of the society, encourages the growth of the birth rate. The more working hands a country has, the richer it is, in case the country is able to feed all these people. But having big population is not in the least the aim of a country. These people should be loyal to the state, to their native country. Children are not born patriots, they are brought up patriots and here is one more function of the family - the up-bringing one.

While speaking about the family we can't but mention one more function of the family. The family is the place where people feel protected and comfortable. The family gets together in joys and sorrows, it possesses an ability to heal wounds and pains. It is the only place where people can feel really secure and relaxed in spite of all problems which exist in every family or in the majority of families.

It is very easy to speak about happy families - kingdoms of love, respect, compassion and care. Leo Tolstoy wrote in his novel “Anna Karenina” - “All happy families are happy in the same way, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. Every family finds its own way to happiness but the result is the same - a good family. Strong, happy families have some common features whether they are rich or poor, white or black. they spend much time together, talk about their problems and resolve them before they get too big. They show each other affection and appreciation. These happy families do not draw much attention: no patrol cars arriving at nights, no quarrels, no interviews by probation officers or social workers.

Unhappy families draw by far more attention of law enforcement and social structures. The reasons of conflicts in families may be different - from alcoholism to arguments about family hierarchy, which sounds rather silly. Families today experience a number of problems. The number of single parent families increases, families are getting smaller (the overage household is between 2 and 3 people today). About half of all marriages end in divorce. Violence in the family is one more serious problem. Children often learn violence from their parents repeat it in their own families.

One more problem is a “generation gap” - the difference in the views of teenagers and their parents. This is the most common problem even in so-called good families. The most common reasons for arguments between teenagers and parents are: the teenager's attitude towards other members of the family; the help about the house; the quality of school work; curfew - time to come home at night; the teenager's friends. The generation gap is really painful experience for both children and parents. There is a medicine for it - patience and understanding from the both sides.

Read the three passages below. What problems of the family do they illustrate? Would you tell the same about your family?

“I think that if I had a brother or a sister my parents would leave me a bit more space, and wouldn't always be on top of me. Sometimes I feel I've got too much responsibility on my shoulders, I feel that I've got to live up to my parents' expectations of me all the time.” Laura, Durban (South Africa)

“My parents leave the house early to go to work and get back when it is already evening, usually tired and stressed and with not much time to spend on me, even if they wanted to.” Tanya, Brisbane (Australia)

“My mum is always telling me how expensive life is today, and that it is a struggle for families to give their kids all the basic necessities of life, like food, education, sport, and so on. i think that a lot of families call a halt at one child because one is really expensive enough.” Marta, Lugo (Spain)

Single-Parent Families

Changes in the American family structure are evidenced by high rates of separation and divorce. It is estimated that almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. These trends have resulted in a high number of single-parent families headed mostly by women. Many of these women do not receive alimony or child support payments and are more likely to be poor than married women. Single mothers (and fathers) often feel “stretched to their limits” with the unending responsibilities that face them. They carry the burden of supporting a very few opportunities for rest and relaxation, unless they have supportive extended family members who will help them.

Despite the high numbers of single parents in the USA, there is no indication that marriage is becoming less popular. The remarriage rate remains high, with approximately four out of five divorced couples eventually remarrying other people. When single parents marry each other, they create “stepfamilies” or “blended families”.

Read the childhood memories of six people:

1. I used to like to do well just to see the look of pleasure on my dad's face. He'd say “Pet, it's like a tonic to me when you do well. I don't know how I have such clever children!' But I never felt I was being pushed too hard. If I did badly, he'd just say: “Well what'll it matter a hundred years from now that you failed your Geography exam!”

2. Whatever I did was just never quite good enough. I was not very strong as a child. I used to get attacks of asthma, so I couldn't do PE or games. Well, anyway, when I was twelve I was so thrilled because I was put in the second eleven for cricket. I was so sure he'd be pleased. D'you know what he said? “Second team? When I was your age I was in the first for cricket, rugby and hockey.” I felt so crushed, I just crawled away and cried - in private, of course!

3. Our house was always open to whoever came round. You'd never know how many people would sit down to a meal. My parents were always inviting people in, and my sisters and I brought friends from school. They used to love coming to our house because they were made so welcome. There were no petty rules, and as long as we tidied up they didn't mind what we did. We called a lot of my parents' friends “Uncle” or “Aunt” so-and-so. We never used to know who were our real relations! But what was so nice for us kids was that we grew up surrounded by a lot of adults, not just our parents, so we heard what they had to say, and they listened to our opinions as well.

4. I think it started out of sheer boredom - I mean they gave me every material benefit, pocket money any time I asked; I had my own brand-new BMW when I was seventeen. I wanted for nothing except their time - I mean they were always so busy, always getting dressed up to go somewhere and so wrapped up in each other. I really don't know why they had children. They always said I was a mistake. Anyway I started hanging about with this bunch of “yobbos” and they said “Try it” - and I thought “Why not? Who cares?”

5. They finally split up when I was four. It's one of my earliest memories - my dad sitting me on his knee and saying, ”Mummy and daddy have decided to live in different houses and I want you to decide which house you want to live in. ”Can you imagine asking a child of four? I hadn't a clue what to say, but my very much bigger brother was standing behind him mouthing, ”Say mum, say mum. ”So I did, and I never saw my dad again except once when I was about ten - from the top of a double-decker bus. At least, I think it was him - I'm sure it was, that time - only I still keep thinking I see him all over the place. I've had three step-dads - it's not the same.

6. She was like a sea of calm, nothing ruffled her, she always had time. Me and the others would be scrapping about something, and she'd say: “OK, OK, let's calm down, let's go back to the beginning and sort it out” - so we did, and it was sorted out! I remember this school friend of mine, she fell off her bike and completely smashed her front teeth. She didn't cry because she was hurt, but because her mother was so particular about her appearance. She said: “She'd kill me, she thinks I have such lovely teeth”. I thought “Gosh - how weird, I couldn't bear it if my mother was like that!' In fact this friend came to my mum first and she ran and told her mum what had happened. Fancy not being able to go to your own mum!