Pre-Reading Activities

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 409.

IX. Parenting: Discipline and Punishment.

Seven ways to be a good parent

1. You should pay more attention to your marriage than to your children.

2. Expect your children to obey, and punish them every time they don't.

3. In order to build up their characters, you must make them do lots of chores.

4. Give them regular and realistic doses of “Vitamin N” (Say NO).

5. You mustn't let them have too many toys.

6. Limit their dependence on television/computers.

7. Stop trying to make them happy all the time, and stop trying to be popular with them. You don't have to buy endless presents as a sign of your affection. Instead, you should show your love for them by doing what you have to do to turn them into decent citizens.

(From Language to go. Upper Intermediate)

Jayne Major, Ph.D. (Parenting Educator & Child Custody Consultant, Breakthrough Parenting Services, Inc.) gives advice on: When should I start teaching my child discipline? What is the most effective way to discipline a child? What are the most common mistakes parents make when disciplining children? and more...

a) Look at the subtitles of the article. What can it be about?

b) Read the article and answer the questions below the text. The following words will help you understand the article better:

chastise – бити, наказувати; boundaries – межі, appreciate – цінувати

What is "punishment"?

Punishment is anytime a parent causes pain, either emotionally or physically. That's punishment. Punishment always builds fear, and historically we've felt that children have to be afraid in order to learn and cooperate. They have to be afraid of us. Nothing has changed more than that concept for a modern parent, is children don't need to be punished and they don't need to be afraid. It's better if they're not afraid of their parents. If their parents are seen as people who love them no matter what and that they can solve problems with, that's better.

What is "physical punishment"?

We don't allow domestic violence with men hitting women, women hitting men, but we still allow the domestic violence of an adult hitting a child. A child is not allowed to defend him or herself. They're not allowed to fight back. They're not allowed to yell and scream back. They have to just take it. We have to raise our consciousness that domestic violence is not okay in our families, and hitting children is domestic violence by my definition.

What is "verbal punishment" for children?

Verbal punishment is any time that the parent's rage is directed to a child in a way that the parent has not controlled themselves and doesn't have adequate boundaries about their rage, and is blaming, chastising and threatening the child.

What are "time-outs" for children?

Time-outs are one of my favorite subjects, because in the transition from the old authoritarian punishments, spanking, and threats, the parent-educators in the middle of the 20th century and later said you know let's use time-out instead. So if the child is misbehaved, we'll put him in time-out. And the old Dennis the Menace sitting in the corner in the rocking chair with his little teddy bear, facing the corner. But people would put a chair, a child in a chair and say you sit there for five minutes or ten minutes or whatever it was and they'd call that time-out.

What is "discipline"?

Discipline is always going to be teaching. Always, teaching. You're teaching the child how to think, how to act, how to be in the world. You're teaching them. And you're teaching them why to do that. That's always it. So in contrast of punishment, you're not teaching. Punishment is, there's a misconception that if the child's been spanked that they now know better. Well they may know not to do that, but they may not understand. So discipline is always going to be about teaching them. And you teach them a better way of understanding, of how to understand the world. Why is the grass green, and why is the sky blue, and why is this and that, and the other thing? You teach them, and you also teach them boundaries, appropriate boundaries and why those boundaries exist.