Avoid Unfamiliar Terms

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 413.

Avoid “Label” Leads

Emphasize the News

Be Objective and Attribute Opinions

An afternoon fishing trip turned into tragedy Wednesday when a 41-year-old mechanic drowned in Clear Lake.

REVISED: A 41-year-old mechanic drowned Wednesday after he apparently suffered a heart attack while fishing in Clear Lake and fell out of a small boat.

A country and western bar on Benson Avenue was the scene of a fight last night that left one man critically injured.

REVISED: A 41-year-old man is in critical condition after being stabbed by his brother-in-law outside a country and western bar on Benson Avenue.

LABEL LEAD: The Department of Health and Human Services issued a report on alcoholism today.

REVISED: Alcohol is the major drug problem in the United States, and one out of 10 working Americans suffers from alcoholism or a lesser drinking problem, the Department of Health and Human Services reported today.

Health care for the poor is substandard in this county, according to medical health care experts who met at an AMA conference here. They hope that Vertical Integration Systems will help reverse that trend.

REVISED: To improve medical care in the county, experts want to establish eight clinics in poor neighborhoods and to refer only the most serious cases to specialists at County Hospital.