Integrity Begins At Home

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 471.

Like charity, integrity begins at home. One of the greatest gifts we can give children is strong moral and ethical values. Let the accept responsibility for their own actions as early as possible. The more responsibility they develop, the better they will feel about themselves. Accepting responsibility begins early as the toddle learns to do basic chores, such as putting away toys. It's learning to put dirty clothes in the hamper and maintaining a sense of orderliness. As children grow older, they can perform regular chores and learn how to handle money. Never do anything on a regular basis for your children that they are capable of doing for themselves. Your role is to help them become independent, self-sufficient adults who can share their values with others out of mutual respect, not out of dependency.

Above all, teach them how to share and care about the rights and welfare of others. Teach your children that their true rewards in life will depend on the quality and the amount of service they render and that they should always treat others as they would have others treat them. Every "right" has its equal responsibility.

Tragically, many parents raise children with a special-interest group mentality. Children learn to be more concerned with their rights than their responsibilities. Motivated by fear, laziness, and greed, more people are coming to accept poor productivity, shoddy workmanship, and low or no moral values as standard. Integrity is being replaced by the something-for-nothing, if-it-feels-good I'll do-it myths running rampant in the Western World.

If I were writing "Ten Commandments for Parents", one of the most, important would be this: thou shalt conduct thyself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by the children. In simpler terms, if your kids shouldn't be doing it, neither should you. Children are sensitive to what you do. When I told my kids to clean their rooms, for example, they took a closer look at the state of disarray in the garage. When I told them that honesty was our family's greatest value, they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car, and they took a real interest in the way I filled out my tax returns.

When I told them not to engage in taking drugs and drinking, they watched from the upstairs balcony the way our guests behaved at our adult parties.

Let us never forget that children reflect the behavior present in their environment. Second, they do have minds of their own. They can accept or reject our teaching. That's why it is so important to set a good example by our actions every day.

Easier preached than practiced. We go along for a while setting a good example, but sooner or later we start telling ourselves we need a break. We need "to let down our hair" — go out and be ourselves for a change. The trouble is, the kids get confused. They think mom and dad are being themselves by modeling good behavior. When they see the other kind, they are puzzled at first, but then they catch on. They learn to play the game of "say one thing, do another".

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One of the highest compliments you could ever be paid is to be told that you are a person of your word. Too many people say that they will do something but later they will give excuses like these: "Oh, I didn't realize you really meant that" or "That isn't exactly what I had in mind". Talk is cheap, but going back on your word is expensive because it costs you your self-respect.

A true friend has the ability to keep a secret and is someone who can be counted on — in good and bad times.

Deeds are always more important than words. And deeds reveal how much you really value yourself.

There is no better way to set an example for others than to be honest.

Honesty doesn't just happen; it is often displayed at tremendous cost and with real sacrifice. Every time you do the right thing instead of the wrong thing, you strengthen everyone and pay tribute to your inner value and self-esteem.

Fidelity in marriage may be growing more scarce than integrity in professional life. Affairs and adultery are riddling families in epidemic proportions. If you are truly concerned about fidelity to your spouse, observe one important rule: Never let friendships with others supersede your relationship with your spouse. Make your spouse your best and trusted friend; best friends do not stab each other in the back.

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Integrity is not an option. Integrity is not situational. Integrity an absolute standard for those who really understand what being the best is all about.

Listen To the Children

Take a moment to listen today

To what your children are trying to say.

Listen today, whatever you do

Or they won't be there to listen to you.

Listen to their problems, listen for their needs,

Praise their smallest triumphs, praise their smallest deeds,

Tolerate their chatter, amplify their laughter,

Find out what's the matter, find out what they're after

But tell them that you love them, every single night

And though you scold them, make sure you hold them,

And tell them "Everything's all right."

If we tell our children all the bad in them we see

They'll grow up exactly how we hoped they'd never be

But if we tell our children, we're so proud to wear their name

They'll grow up believing they're winners in the game.

Take a moment to listen today

To what your children are trying to say.

Listen today, whatever you do

And they will come back to listen to you!