The degree to which we enter our students' world is the degree of influence we have in their lives.

Date: 2015-10-07; view: 353.

Teachers often discuss the age-old question:”Do they have to like us?” If they do, the job becomes much easier. We teachers don't have to work nearly as hard if we know that the students are with us, rather than fighting us. “Don't smile until mid-term” is bad advice, rooted in the “They don't have to like us” camp. This type of thinking ignores the research that shows teachers achieve higher results when they remove any threat, engage student emotions and build rapport. We find that even with the toughest, gang-affiliated, “unteachable” high school kids, the one thing that engages them in learning is the rapport we build with them as people.

This influence separates those who are good teachers from those who are truly inspired teachers. Develop rapport, and learners will accept you and what you have to say. Because of the relationship you develop with them, what could have been a power struggle or major disciplinary situation becomes transformed into a conversation of recommitment or agreement. In addition, when things get tough, like with the content (the part of the curriculum even you dislike), or with the context (the week before break) – or when relationships get tense to the point that you'd normally lose the students – they‘ll hang in with you because they trust you. Building rapport and safety takes intention, compassion and risk on your part. This is different from the old paradigm that said, “Set the rules and relations first, get right into the content and the relationship will build over time”. From Day One, we get out from behind our content and policy, and just get to know the students and build rapport with them. Take the first week (or two!) of school, despite the expense of precious time, and commit yourself to building the atmosphere in your class: team, partnership, safety, rapport, rapport, rap­port. Our experience has shown that taking time dur­ing the first week of school to set a safe, warm atmosphere not only builds the context for the year, but saves you time later when it comes to classroom management and re-teaching. The message students get in the first weeks? People come FIRST here, even over content.

This level of rapport produces an added ben­efit: permission. When you understand your students and relate to them, it gives you permission to hold them accountable for what they say and responsible for what they do. But remember, they have the right to expect the same from you.

Opening up the communication for this kind of partnership is a win/win for you and them. It allows you to speak honestly, with love, about what you see and run less risk of the students being defen­sive. Why? Because you care enough to give them feedback. When you interact with students with pos­itive intention and rapport, you can speak directly to them about what matters most - who they are and how they portray themselves. They want this from you honestly and supportively. Be careful not to abuse this privilege or use it as a tool for manipulation. In any healthy relationship, we honor and respect those we love. Do so with your students.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember Teresa, the once-troubled student? As she attests, there is no doubt that empowering students though positive intention for their success yields great results. Despite an entire semester of bad behavior, failing grades and problems, Teresa's teacher, Miss Singer, still believed in her, and knew she could succeed. Miss Singer told her this and the next day received this note:

“… I went home and took time being introspective by myself, sorting things out. I know my apathy caused you to worry about me. But your affirmations helped me to believe that I could succeed. I've made up my mind and I'm going for it, and I feel good about myself. You accepted me for who I am instead of what I do. I appreciate that because most teachers wouldn't have done that.”

As a result of this exchange, Teresa acted like a new person when she came back to repeat the course. She knew her teacher believed in her, and she succeeded. Assuming students are capable, and letting them know you believe in them, can make the difference between whether they open up to you or shut you out. It's much easier to teach to an open mind – especially if you have an open mind!