Reaching a Solution

Duke Ellington had it right when he said, "A problem is a chance for you to do your best." To deal with conflict successfully, be concerned about your own outcomes and also the outcomes for the other party.

Consider using a process like the one below. This process can be useful in dealing with conflict in relationships, workplaces, or other situations where there is an interest in seeking a negotiated solution. These steps won't guarantee an agreement, but they greatly improve the likelihood that problems can be understood, solutions explored, and the advantages of a negotiated agreement considered within a relatively constructive environment. This process also provides useful strategies that reduce the impacts of stress, fears, and "surprise" factors involved in dealing with conflict.

Success strategies for conflict resolution include:

– Have a high concern for both your own and the other party’s outcomes, and attempt to identify mutually beneficial solutions.

– Know and take care of yourself.

– Understand your perceptual filters, biases, and triggers.

– Create a personally-affirming environment for yourself before addressing the conflict (sleep, eat, seek counsel, etc.).

– Clarify personal needs threatened by the conflict.

– Know your substantive, procedural, and psychological needs.

– Determine your “desired outcomes” from a negotiated process.

– Identify a safe place to meet and negotiate.

– Arrange an appropriate space for the discussion that is private and neutral.

– Gain mutual consent to negotiate and ensure the time is convenient for all parties.

– Consider if support people would be beneficial (for example, facilitators, mediators, advocates, etc.).

– Agree to ground rules.

– Take a listening stance.

– “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” (Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

– Use active listening skills, and listen loudly.

– Assert your needs clearly and specifically.

– Use “I-messages” as tools for clarification.

– Build from what you have heard; continue to listen loudly and actively.

– Approach the interaction with flexibility.

– Identify issues clearly and concisely.

– Participate in generating options (brainstorming), while deferring judgment.

– Be open and don’t get distracted by “tangents” and other problem definitions.

– Clarify criteria for decision making.

– Manage impasses with calm, patience, and respectful behavior.

– Clarify feelings.

– Focus on underlying needs, interests, and concerns.

– Take a structured break if needed.

– Build an agreement that works.

– Review “hallmarks” of a good agreement.

– Implement and evaluate—live and learn.

Using these techniques can improve the outcome of a conflict resolution process for everyone concerned.

3. Answer the questions:

Why does a conflict give you a chance to do your best?

Why should you be concerned about your own and the other party’s outcomes?

Which of these strategies help you the most in conflicts?

Rank them in order of most and least successful.

Some people think conflicts ruin everything and others think that life without conflicts is dull and monotonous. What do you think?

4. Match the following words with the translation:

to explore– выполнять

to defer– сбивать с толку

impact– позиция

beneficial– безвыходное положение

bias– печать

to affirm– оценить

stance– влияние

to distract– подтверждать

impasse– полезный

hallmark– предрасудок

to implement– изучать

to evaluate– прислушиваться к чьему–л. мнению

5.Translate into English

Некоторые способы воздействия на оппонента

1. Учитывайте способности и возможности людей, не требуйте большего. Ставьте реальные сроки.

2. Не перевоспитывайте человека.

3. Оценивайте психологическое состояние партнера по общению и избегайте острых тем.

4. Занимайте твердую позицию по отношению к проблеме и мягкую позицию к оппоненту.

5. Заранее информируйте людей о ваших решениях, затрагивающих их интересы.

6. Не увеличивайте число обсуждаемых проблем в ходе беседы.

Unit 19

1. Read the tongue– twisters as fast as you can

a) Friendly Frank flips fine flapjacks.

b) Sister Suzie’s sewing socks for soldiers

Sock for solders sister Suzie sews,

If sister Suzie’s sewing socks for soldiers,

Where’re the socks for soldiers sister Suzie sews?

2. Read and translate the text

Some other successful strategies for conflict resolution

Handle conflicts sooner rather than later. Resolve a conflict when it starts, as it only gets worse with time. Conflicts at work arise not from something thatwas said, but from something that wasn’t said! Everyone’s waiting for the other to admit he’s wrong and gets more unpleasant after the conflict has stewed for a while. It's essential to interrupt the "waiting game" before it gets to that point.

Ask nicely. If somebody has done something that made you angry, or if you don’t understand their viewpoint or actions, simply asking about it can make a world of difference. Never assume that people do what they do to annoy or spite you. Sometimes there’s good reason why that person does what he or she does (even the things that really get on your nerves), and a potential conflict evaporates right there. Make your inquiry just that--an inquiry, not an accusation of any sort: “Say, I was wondering why you did ‘X’ yesterday” or “I’ve noticed that you often do ‘Y’. Why is that?” are good examples. “Why the hell do you always have to ‘Z’!” is less constructive.

Invite the other person to talk about the situation. A hurried conversation at your desk between emails and phone calls won’t solve anything. You need an undisturbed location and time to address the issue.

Observe. Identify what you see in neutral, objective terms. This is where you describe the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. What is actually happening? When and how is it happening? What is the other person doing and, not least, what are you doing? You’re only allowed to cite observable facts and not allowed to assume or guess at what the other person is thinking or doing. You can say, “I’ve noticed that you’re always criticizing me at our meetings” because that’s a verifiable fact. You can’t say “I’ve noticed that you’ve stopped respecting my ideas” because that assumes something about the other person.

Apologize. Apologize for your part in the conflict. Usually everyone involved has done something to create and sustain the conflict. Remember: You’re not accepting the entire blame, you’re taking responsibility for your contribution to the situation.

Appreciate. Praise the other part in the conflict. Tell them why it’s worth it to you to solve the conflict. This can be difficult as few people find it easy to praise and appreciate a person they disagree strongly with, but it’s a great way to move forward.

Identify the consequences. What has the conflict led to for you and for the company? Why is it a problem? Outlining the consequences of the conflict shows why it’s necessary to resolve it. It also helps participants to look beyond themselves and see the conflict "from the outside."

Define an objective. What would be a good outcome? It’s essential to set a goal so both parties know the outcome they’re aiming for. That makes reaching the outcome a lot more likely.

Request. Ask for specific actions that can be implemented right away. For example: "I suggest that we introduce a new rule: At meetings when one of us suggest something and the other person disagrees, we start by saying what’s good about the idea and then say how it could be better. Also, if we start to attack each other as we have before, I suggest we both excuse ourselves from the meeting and talk about it in private instead of in front of the entire team. And, what do you say we have a short talk after our next project meeting to evaluate how it went? How does that sound?"

Get mediation. Some conflicts cannot be solved by the participants alone, and mediators can help. Mediation involves a neutral third party who has been trained in mediation principles, who is experienced in mediation, and who is trusted by the people involved in the conflict. A good mediator will help the disputants find their own solution, not provide advice or push them toward any particular solution.

Take care when selecting a mediator. The mediator (or mediators) should only be someone who has undergone formal mediation training, has extensive mediation experience, and has mediated under supervision. Otherwise, he or she may do more harm than good.

Consult a lawyer. Some conflicts involve disagreement about what is legal, or whether to follow the law. Whistleblowers who report violations may have legal protections, and may consider raising their concerns outside the normal chain of command. If the conflict arises from a fraud to obtain money from the government, whistleblowers may need to follow special procedures to protect their rights. The False Claims Act requires that whistleblowers with original knowledge of such fraud be the first to file their claim, and refrain from public disclosure of certain information about their claim.

3.Answer the questions:

Do you think it is effective to postpone the conflict resolution?

Is it correct to accuse or to inquire if something made you angry?

When will you consult a lawyer or a mediator?

Do people seldom appologize for their conflicts?

Do appologises mean an accepting of your blame in the conflict?

How to describe objectively what is happening?

Is it easy to praise the conflict party?

How do the consequences help to resolve the conflict?

What is the role of a wistleblower in a conflict?

Discuss the suggested strategies ranking them in order of most important.

4. Match the following words with the translation:

to stew– подвергаться

to assume– воздерживаться

to spite– уйти с , не присутствовать на

to sustain– поддерживать

to рraise– допускать

inquiry– проверенный

blame– расспрос

outcome– осведомитель

verifiable– вина

to excuse from– делать назло

to undergo– томить

whistleblower– решение

to refrain– хвалить

Unit 20

1. Read the tongue– twisters as fast as you can

a) Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.

b) A certain young fellow named Beebee

Wished to marry a lady named Phoebe

“But, he said, “I must see

What the minister’s fee be

Before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee”

2. Read and translate the text

Six Steps for Resolving Conflicts

A system for resolving conflicts used by families and educators around the country is called The Win/Win Guidelines . Based on methods from diplomacy and counseling, these guidelines were initially developed for use in public schools. The results were so good that teachers, parents, and school administrators began using them in their own lives. Now this system is being used internationally.

Here’s how you can use the Win/Win Guidelines for any conflicts that may arise :

Step 1: Cool off.

Conflicts can’t be solved in the face of hot emotions. Take a step back, breathe deep, and gain some emotional distance before trying to talk things out. Take a moment to brainstorm ten things that make you feel better when you’re hot under the collar. Consider some of the following: breathing deeply while making a calming statement, looking at the sky, clearing your desk or straightening up, splashing cold water on the face, writing in a journal, or taking a quick walk and then coming back to talk about the problem. Some people need physical release, while others need something quiet and cerebral. Determine what works for you, then use it next time you get angry. Then you’ll be ready to go on to the next step.

Step 2: Tell what’s bothering you using “I messages.”

”I messages” are a tool for expressing how we feel without attacking or blaming. By starting from “I” we take responsibility for the way we perceive the problem.

This is in sharp contrast to “you messages” which put others on the defensive and close doors to communication. A statement like, “You’ve left the kitchen a mess again! Can’t you ever clean up after yourself?” will escalate the conflict. Now take a look at how differently an “I message comes across: “I’m annoyed because I thought we agreed you’d clean up the kitchen after using it. What happened?”

When making “I” statements it’s important to avoid put-downs, guilt-trips, sarcasm, or negative body language. We need to come from a place inside that’s non-combative and willing to compromise. A key credo in conflict resolution is, “It’s us against the problem, not us against each other.” “I messages” enable us to convey this.

Step 3: Each person restates what they heard the other person say.

Reflective listening demonstrates that we care enough to hear the other person out, rather than just focusing on our own point of view. It actually fosters empathy. Mark Burnes describes how he used reflective listening the time he walked into the middle of a shouting match between his ex-wife and teen-aged son.

“No sooner had I walked in the door to pick up Randy than he and his mother erupted into battle. In the past I might have shouted for them to stop, only to have been drawn into the fray. Instead I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and chose my words carefully. I calmly asked them each if they could tell me what had happened. Then I reflected back what they said. My willingness to listen helped them listen too. They were actually able to come to a compromise, something I’d never before thought possible.”

Step 4: Take responsibility.

In the majority of conflicts, both parties have some degree of responsibility. However, most of us tend blame rather than looking at our own role in the problem. When we take responsibility we shift the conflict into an entirely different gear, one where resolution is possible.

Fifty-two year old Nancy Martin talked about how taking responsibility averted a major falling-out with her husband. “We were getting ready to go to a family gathering, and as usual I was running late. When my husband Bill spotted me puttering around in the living room, he completely lost it. At the sound of his angry voice, I responded defensively, and then we were on our way to an ugly confrontation.

But this time, instead of going into my defensive posture I walked away for a few minutes, took some deep breaths, and got my bearings. When I walked back into the room I was able to hear him out. Bill told me that he was so frustrated at having to wait for me whenever we went out. He also spoke about punctuality as something he highly valued. As I listened to his words a funny thing happened: I realized he was right. I did need to get a handle on my habitual lateness. It was then that I apologized. My husband ended up giving me a hug and thanking me. What might have become a full-blown fight actually turned into a moment of drawing closer.

Step 5: Brainstorm solutions and come up with one that satisfies both people.

Resolving conflicts is a creative act. There are many solutions to a single problem. The key is a willingness to seek compromises.

Kindergarten teacher Connie Long describes how her students started having fewer conflicts when they learned how to brainstorm solutions: “My kids were constantly getting into arguments over crayons, erasers, toys, you name it. After introducing peacemaking my students started finding ways to solve the problem instead of just getting stuck in their own positions. For example, when Ronnie and Jamie both grabbed the yellow truck, I took them aside and asked if they could come up with five ways to solve the problem. They thought about it and then suggested taking turns, sharing, getting another truck from the toy chest, doing a different activity , and building a truck together out of Legos. This is the kind of thinking I’m seeing more and more. Brainstorming has opened my children’s mind to new possibilities.

Step 6: Affirm, forgive, or thank.

A handshake, hug, or kind word gives closure to the resolution of conflicts. Forgiveness is the highest form of closure. Minister Fredrick Buechner says, “When you forgive somebody . . . you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each others’ presence.” What a legacy we can leave to our children as we teach and model this.

Just saying thank you at the end of a conflict, or acknowledging the person for working things out sends a message of conciliation and gratitude. We preserve our relationships this way, strengthening our connections and working through problems that arise.

3. Answer the questions:

What is the Win/Win Guidelines?

Which of the sixth steps did you ever observe?

Which of them you think are the most successful?

What is easier to blame or take responsibility?

What is the highest form of closure?

What possibilities does brainstorming give to people?

What messages of conciliation and gratitude can be used in a conflict situation?

What fosters empathy?

What tool for expressing how we feel without attacking or blaming is better to use?

How to cool off before trying to talk things out?

4. Match the following words with the translation:

dismal – сочувствие

to brainstorm – способствовать развитию

to convey– вновь заявлять, повторять

to escalate– предотвратить

to shift– одолеть

to foster– обсуждать

to putter– избавлять

to erupt– заметить

put-down– прекращение

guilt-trip– совсем

empathy– подавленный

to restate– передавать

reflective– вдумчивый

fray– передача

falling-out– ссора

entirely – обвинение

to spot– выливаться, перерастать

gear– драка

to avert– обострять

to get a handle on– переключить

bearing– терпение

closure– подавление

to spare– бесцельно слоняться

5. Read and discuss

Conflict resolution has applications in every walk of life.

As a police officer described: “Knowing conflict resolution has helped me come from a base of understanding no matter who I’m dealing with. Instead of just reacting, I calm myself and listen to what people have to say. If people feel like you understand, they tend to become less volatile.”

A graduate student dealing with room-mate difficulties: “I told my roommate what was on my mind and asked him to do the same. We listened to each others’ point of view. By talking it out we gained empathy toward one another. The resolution came as we began to understand each others feelings.”

A teacher in conflict with a colleague over the use of space: “When I expressed my point of view through “I messages” without placing blame, we were able to come up with a fair solution, a compromise we could both live with.

A mother of a three year-old: In the past, the fiery look in my son’s eyes would put me right over the edge. It would lead to a screaming match, marking the beginning of a very bad day. Now I breathe deeply, make a calming statement, and remind myself not to yell. I use “I messages” too. “You messages” tend to inflame him. For example, if he refuses to dress I might say, "I'll put your clothes right here. As soon as you’re dressed you can have breakfast with us." It’s working; the power struggles are lessening.

A ten year-old boy: My little brother started cutting off the ribbons on my helium balloons. I was furious! Instead of going after him, I went upstairs, cooled off, and came back when I felt calmer. I gave him an “I message: “I’m really upset about what you did to my balloons. You wouldn’t like it if I did that to something of yours!” I said it in a such respectful way my brother was shocked. He said, “I’m really sorry. Would you help me fix them?”

Think of your own life. Who are you in conflict with? Imagine applying this system to work things out. Think of the impact on all your relationships. Peace starts with each of us and sometimes we need to take the first step. As Gandhi once said, “We must be the change we wish to see in others.”

POLITICS

1)

The Road Ahead in Afghanistan: Toward a Diplomatic Surge?

So what do Tehran, New Delhi, and Beijing have in common? Quite simply, they have a common enemy in the Taliban. But all three states arealso wary of seeing an indefinite US presence in Central Asia.

The Afghan problem, it seems, almost inevitably comes back to the all-important role of Pakistan. Because of its porous border with Afghanistan, Pakistan is frustrating coalition efforts to pursue the Taliban and al-Qaeda. Pakistan, in its mutual competition with India, is fuelingregional insecu­rity. This explains why NATO–ISAF commanders acknowledge that they are dealing with two sides of the same coin. Paki­stan has a lot to lose from a coalition failure in Afghanistan, for example, its territorial integrity, or the loss of the United States as a staunch ally.

Islamabad also faces more practical problems caused by the continuing conflict in Afghanistan, such as a renewed influx of Afghan refugees. Al­though close to 2 million have returned from Pakistani camps since 2002, some 300,000 or so remain across the border. Iran faces a similar problem. Aside from humanitarian considerations, both Tehran and Islamabad incur considerable costs from attending to the basic needs of that many extra human beings. A peaceful solution to Afghanistan’s wars, which have now destabilized the region for some 30 years, should be welcomed by most of that country’s near and distant neighbors. And it is within reach.

I. Find the equivalents in the text: Настороженно относиться; исключительно важный; прозрачная граница; нестабильность в регионе; территориальная целостность, надежный союзник; приток беженцев; нести значительные расходы; территориальная целостность; не за горами;

II. Answer the questions:

1) What states are Tehran, New Delhi, and Beijing, Islamabad capitals of?

2) What do you know about the Taliban and al-Qaeda?

3) What is ISAF?

4) What are the main problems of the region?

III. Make a report on the other regions in the world where there is a threat of terrorism.

UK faces 'generation of conflict'

Britain's armed forces must prepare for a "generation of conflict", the head of the Army has said.

General Sir Richard Dannatt's comments, released by the Ministry of Defence, were made to a Royal United Services Institute conference in June.

Gen Dannatt warned of the threat from a "strident Islamist shadow" over the world and the need for "some form of success" in Iraq to combat it.

He said the Army was facing a global "conflict of values and ideas".

At the conference, which members of the media were not allowed to attend, Gen Dannatt said the Army had held discussions on how to prepare for the possibility of "a generation of conflict".

He said troops must have the right training and equipment, but should also be prepared for a much longer fight for "hearts and minds".

"The heady appeal of 'go first, go fast, go home' has to be balanced with a willingness and a structure 'to go strong and go long'", the general said.

'Extremism and jihad'

Gen Dannatt stressed the need for some progress in Iraq and "significant achievement" in Afghanistan.

Gen Dannatt said Britain's mission in Iraq must be to help "construct a modern Islamic state in the tinderbox that is Iraq in the face of extremism and jihad".

He added in Afghanistan the Army was "on the edge of a new and deadly great game", referring to a phrase popularised by Rudyard Kipling.

The author used the term to describe the strategic battle between Britain and Russia during the 19th and early 20th Centuries.

Foreign Secretary David Miliband said he believed Gen Dannatt was referring to the UK's role in a long-term "military, diplomatic and ideological" battle against terrorism and extremism.

"Anyone who tells you there's a short-term fix in Afghanistan isn't telling you the truth," Mr Miliband told BBC Radio 4's Today programme.

Gen Dannatt also warned the high esteem in which the Army was held by British people was "fragile and under no circumstances must we take this for granted".

It "may be increasingly difficult to gain" the public's respect and trust, he added.

I. Find the equivalents in the text:

не сдаваться; иметь большое влияние; безрассудный призыв; пороховая бочка; долгосрочный; краткосрочный; считать само собой разумеющимся; ни при каких обстоятельствах.

II. Explain the expressions from the text:

a)"strident Islamist shadow"

b)"conflict of values and ideas";

c)“fight for "hearts and minds".

III. Answer the questions:

1) What does General Dannatt understand by “the need for some progress in Iraq and "significant achievement" in Afghanistan”?

2) Why do you think members of the media were not allowed to attend the conference?

3) Who and what is Rudyard Kipling? What were his political views?

4) Why does General Dannatt think that there is the possibility of "a generation of conflict"? And what does he mean by that?

3)

Ethnic conflicts

Kurds are the fourth largest ethnic group in the Middle East, and the largest one

without their own state. They live in the territories of Turkey, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Armenia and Azerbaijan. Kurdish ethnic conflict in Turkey existed since the very early years of the Turkish Republic and continues to this day. In Turkey, the government has attempted to deny the very existence of Kurds as a separate people.

The Kurds seem further from autonomy or independence today than in the past. In part, the cause lies in their disunity in language, religious behavior, and especially tribal structure.

Some of the frequent Kurdish revolts in the twentieth century sought autonomy; others aimed at complete independence in a sovereign state. But the fate of all of these insurrections was the same. No Kurdish movement has succeeded over the long run even in extracting major concessions

Although the Kurds are easily distinguishable from the rest of the world, they are by no means united. Kurds are set apart from their neighbors chiefly by language. Kurdish belongs to the Indo-European family and is a close relative of Iranian. Yet Kurdish is not at all a unified tongue. It is divided into at least three major dialects.

Religious behavior also divides the Kurds. To be sure, the overwhelming majority are Sunnis of the Shafii rite, a version of Islam not widely practiced by others in this region. However, Kurds seem drawn to various dervish brotherhoods and to unorthodox Islamic sects. Even more significant, many tribal leaders also combine hereditary religious leadership with their temporal authority. This combination serves to intensify tribal distinctions among Kurds.
Tribal structure is no doubt an important impediment to a national movement

There are the instrumental and the symbolic theories which explain the sources of the ethnic conflict. While the instrumental theory argues that the nation and nationalism, thus the ethnic conflict, were artificial modern phenomena, and

invented by the elite, the symbolic theory brings historical explanations based on the ethnic symbols, shared cultural values and myths. The instrumentalist theory conceives the ethnicidentity* as created and constructed by the ethnic elite. The instrumental theory also argues that the modernization and the economic factors were the fundamental sources of the ethnic conflict. On the other hand, the symbolic theory does not associate the ethnic conflict with the modern era. According to the symbolists, there is continuity between the past and present time, and the ethnicityconcept is not invented. Symbols, myths and cultural values are the major constructors of the ethnicity

*****

*Ethnicidentity – ethnic identity

I. Find the equivalents in the text:

уступки; сунниты шафиитского толка; принадлежат различным братствам дервишей; светская власть; помеха; утверждать; этническая идентичность; с другой стороны; непрерывность; этническая принадлежность.

II. Answer the questions:

1) What prevents the Kurds from unity?

2) What are the theories explaining the Kurdish nationalism?

3) What, do you think, are the ways of solution/settlement of the ethnic conflict between the Kurds and the Turkey?

4) Find information and make a report on some other ethnic conflicts in the world.

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