UNIT 1. BREAKING THE ICE

Lead-in

1. Read the following words of wisdom. What do they mean?

· The world is a looking glass and gives back to each person a reflection of his attitude.

· Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.

· True politeness is perfect ease and freedom. It simply consists in treating others just as you love to be treated yourself. (Chesterfield)

· Ceremonies are different in every country, but true POLITENESS is everywhere the same. (Oliver Goldsmith)

A Short Course in Human Relations

The Six Most Important Words: "I admit I made a mistake"

The Five Most Important Words: "You did a good job”

The Four Most Important Words: "What is your opinion?"

The Three Most Important Words: "If you please"

The Two Most Important Words: "Thank you"

The One Most Important Word: "We"

The Least Important Word: "I"

VOCABULARY

Word building

2. Say how the prefixes dis-, un-, in-, im- change the meaning of the words (a–h).

a) dislike ← like

b) disrespect ← respect

c) unskilled ← skilled

d) unsociable ←sociable

e) inexperienced ← experienced

f) inoccupation ← occupation

g) impolite ← polite

h) impersonal ← personal

3. Translate the derivatives; say to what part of speech they belong.

1. event (n) – событие → eventful, eventless
2. meaning (n) – значение; смысл → meaningful, meaningless
3. use (n) – польза → useful, useless
4. skill (n) – умение → skilled, skillful
5. memory (n) – память → memorable
6. move (v) – двигаться → movable
7. polite (a) – вежливый → politeness
8. rude (a) – грубый, невоспитанный → rudeness
9. busy (a) – занятой → busyness
10. able (a) – способный → ability
11. mobile (a) – подвижный → mobility
12. arrive (v) – прибывать → arrival
13. refuse (v) – отказывать → refusal

4. Match the parts of speech (a–d) with the lists of typical suffixes (1–4).

5. Choose the corresponding English word.

6. Match the words of similar meaning.

7. Match the words to their opposites.

8. Express the following in one word.

1 to tell someone’s name to a person or group of people, so that they meet formally

2 a form of words or an action used on meeting someone

3 having or showing good manners and consideration for other people

4 way of feeling, thinking or behaving

5 knowing a lot about life, people, etc.

6 good at learning and understanding things quickly

7 ability to do something well

9. Read and translate the sentences.

1. Good evening, Raymond. Let me introduce David Bruce, one of my colleagues. 2. “Mrs Johnson?” “Please, call me by my first name.” 3. We don’t use surnames – it’s too formal. 4. Her name’s Tanya and she’s from Los Angeles. We both graduated from the same high school in LA. 5. Ever heard of a girl named Emma Handley? 6. When she was at school she was very good at art. 7. Actually I’m not very keen on modern art. 8. You may not like her, but you have to admit that she’s good at her job. 9. I must admit I never was very good at dancing. 10. I’ve always been interested in cars, ever since I was a child. 11. Margaret became interested in acting when she was a student at Cambridge. 12. She has her likes and dislikes as we all have. 13. I don’t know why you dislike my father so much. 14. Josh turned round to shake hands and exchange greetings with some of his friends. 15. Their behaviour towards their guests tends to be rather formal. 16. What time does Jim arrive? 17. Half our guests arrived late, making the usual excuses. 18. Let me know the date and time of your arrival. 19. Their guests were given a very warm welcome on arrival. 20. During my stay in Japan, I was treated with great politeness by everyone I met. 21. Mrs Thomas is a very able teacher. 22. Laura’s smart and she has plenty of ambition. She’s sure to get a good job. 23. You have to be very intelligent to go to Oxford University. 24. My sister was always the cleverest student in her class. 25. Ann has very good language skills. 26. Adrian was a skilled architect. 27. Gascoigne is an extremely skilful player. 28. I feel very proud when people admire my work. 29. Mr Bruce is a very experienced teacher; he has been working in this school for twenty years. 30. I realize now that at the age of eighteen I was very naïve and inexperienced. 31. The pop star’s wife politely refused any requests for interviews. 32. Alan tried to start a conversation, but when Lockwood made no response, he gave up. 33. Her response to his suggestion was a simple refusal. 34. His attitude to his new job seemed to be very negative. 35. When I told them I was a doctor their whole attitude changed. 36. Why did you choose such a bright colour? 37. You have a choice. You can go to university now or wait until next September. 38. I sometimes wonder why she chose Jerry as her assistant. He’s useless.

10. Fill in the correct word from the list below. Some words may be used more than once.

1. “Good morning,” I said, but she didn’t return the ___.
2. Let me ___ Mr Henry Shaw, our Marketing Manager.
3. Mum, Dad, I want you to ___ my friend Sheila.
4. He gave no ___ to my question.
5. Don’t be so ___ to your father.
6. It is not considered ___ to ask a lady how old she is.
7. I was young and relatively ___ in dealing with members of the opposite sex.
8. Paul liked to turn to more ___ people for advice.
9. His ___ towards me shows that he does not like me.
10. She’s always extremely ___ to me, but I never know what she is really thinking.
11. What a ___ man! He just ignored me when I said “Good morning.”
12. ___ managers often have problems with their staff.

11. Complete the sentences with the prepositions in the box.

1. He graduated ___ Manchester University in 1994.
2. ___ the age of 80 he still leads a very busy and interesting life.
3. When are you moving ___ your new house?
4. In her early years her family moved ___ one town ___ another.
5. Jim is very good ___ mathematics but his interests include the theatre, American literature and cricket.
6. We’re not particularly interested ___ sport.
7. She seems very keen ___ learning to drive.
8. We’re proud ___ our country and we don’t like people insulting it.
9. ___ arrival in London report to the Ministry of Education.
10. When he was at school he didn’t show much interest ___ girls.
11. When you have a problem, who do you turn to ___ advice?
12. Parents who are worried ___ their child’s education often find it hard to follow teacher’s advice.
13. What makes San Francisco so interesting is its architecture, which is completely different ___ that of other American cities.
14. Spartans were famous ___ being brave, but not for being clever.
15. His attitude ___ his new job seemed to be very negative.
16. I’ve lost all interest ___ my job and I feel constantly tired.

12. Match the sentence beginnings (a-g) with their endings (1-7).

GRAMMAR

Verb to be

13. Put in am/am not/is/isn’t/are/aren’t.

1. I ___ from Russia.
2. Debbie and Mark ___ British. They ___ German.
3. My friends ___ interested in computers.
4. His parents ___ around 40.
5. How old ___ you? I ___ 18.
6. London ___ situated on the river Evans. It ___ situated on the river Thames.
7. I ___ keen on sports. But I ___ rather good at basketball.
8. Her name ___ Jane. It ___ Helen.

14. Give short answers (Yes, I am/No, he isn’t, etc.).

1. Are you from Russia?
2. Is your home town small?
3. Are all your school friends students now?
4. Is your best friend the same age as you?
5. Are you good at languages?
6. Is English difficult?
7. Are you satisfied with your speaking abilities so far?
8. Is it important to have good communication skills?

15. Write questions with these words. Give short answers.

1.your mother/at work?

2.her children/at home?

3.he/from Italy?

4.I/good at English?

5.you/interested in art?

6.I/right?

7.this subject/difficult?

8.you/happy today?

16. Write questions that match the answers.

Example: What is your name?— My name’s Mark.

Present Simple

17. Put these words into three groups according to the pronunciation of the -s/-es endings.

think, learn, choose, go, move, look, dance, leave, enjoy, invite, refuse, worry, wash, behave, ignore, admit, apologize, include, enjoy, advise, dislike, change, realize, suggest, admire, exchange, request, return, wonder, introduce, agree, raise, show, treat

18. Complete the sentences putting the verbs in the Present Simple Tense.

1. We all ___ (agree) on the importance of communication skills.
2. I always ___ (think) about the feelings of other people.
3. Sometimes he ___ (behave) very strangely towards me.
4. Teenagers and their parents rarely ___ (agree).
5. My friend ___ (live) next door to me.
6. We often ___ (enjoy) the same things.
7. I ___ (belong) to a sports club.

19. Write positive sentences with the verb in the correct form.

1. My mother doesn’t come from Russia.
2. My friends don’t live in Chelyabinsk.
3. We don’t see each other socially very much.
4. Paul doesn’t study at Trinity College.
5. My father doesn’t work as an engineer.
6. My friends and I don’t go to the cinema at weekends.
7. My friend doesn’t wear jeans and a T-shirt to university.

20. Write negative sentences with the verb in the correct form.

1. I ___ (take) the dog for a walk every morning.
2. My friends ___ (work) in a bank.
3. We ___ (go) to football matches every Sunday.
4. I ___ (find) it easy to mix with other people.
5. She ___ (buy) all the food in the nearest supermarket.
6. This car ___ (cost) much money – it’s rather old.
7. Paul ___ (get up) early at weekends.

21. Write true sentences with the given words.

1. It / rain a lot in autumn.
2. A restaurant / sell shoes.
3. A restaurant / serve food.
4. An architect / design buildings.
5. Doctors / take care of sick people.
6. Glass / break easily.
7. Scientists / have all the answers to the mysteries of the Universe.

22. Add do or does to make general questions and do, don’t, does or doesn’t to give short answers.

1. ___ I speak good Italian? — Yes, you ___.
2. ___ you drive to work? — No, I ___.
3. ___ they work hard at university? — Yes, they ___.
4. ___ Bill smoke? — No, he ___.
5. ___ Kate like ice-cream? — Yes, she ___.
6. ___ you know how old David is?

23. You are asking somebody questions. Write questions with Do / Does ...?

1. I work hard. And you? Do you work hard?
2. I know the answer. And you? ______?
3. I speak English. And Ann? ______?
4. I play tennis. And your friends? ______?
5. I like hot weather. And you? ______?
6. I do exercises every morning. And you? ______?
7. I want to learn Spanish. And you? ______?

24. Make these sentences into general questions.

1. It rains a lot here in spring.
2. The shops close at 5 o’clock.
3. They have parties every weekend.
4. She speaks good English.
5. You drink a lot of tea.
6. They go shopping on Saturdays.

Past Simple

25. Put these words into three groups according to the pronunciation of the -ed endings.

pass, waste, wash, rain, enjoy, watch, decide, remember, suggest, return, fail, need, stop, study, mix, end, ask, love, use, listen, want, dance, happen, change, greet

26. Put the verbs in brackets into the correct form of the past simple.

1. I ___ (live) in this house last year.
2. Two hundred years ago our town ___ (be) just a small village.
3. Several years ago they ___ (be) married.
4. He ___ (dance) with me last night.
5. I ___ (be / not) busy yesterday.
6. I ___ (learn / not) English at school.
7. I ___ (begin) to study English in 2008.
8. Emma ___ (be) the best student in our group.

27. Complete the sentences. Use is, are, was, were, do, does, did.

1. When and where ___ you born?
2. Where ___ you go to school?
3. When ___ you move to Chelyabinsk? — When I ___ a teenager.
4. How large ___ your family?
5. What languages ___ you speak?
6. What city ___ she from?
7. What sort of person ___ she? / What ___ she like?
8. What ___ she like doing in her spare time?
9. What ___ she look like?
10. ___ he married?
11. What ___ you think of me?
12. ___ you know what time it ___?
13. What time ___ the next train leave?
14. What ___ the weather like today?

28. Complete the following tag questions.

Example:

You learn English, don’t you?

Your sister doesn’t go to university, does she?

You enjoyed the concert, didn’t you?

You are 20 years old, aren’t you?

She isn’t a journalist, is she?

1. You are a first year student, ___?
2. You aren’t married, ___?
3. You read a lot, ___?
4. He is interested in music, ___?
5. They do sports, ___?
6. Your brother studies medicine, ___?
7. She doesn’t speak French, ___?
8. He is going to apply to university, ___?
9. Your sister is a college graduate, ___?
10. Her parents come from Scotland, ___?
11. You are going to be an architect, ___?
12. You look like your father, ___?

29. Work with a partner. Complete the tag questions; act out the following dialogue.

Applying for a job

30. Work with your partner. Imagine you are going to get a new job and you are being interviewed by a hiring manager (HM). Complete the conversation.

31. Complete the sentences. Use in, with, at, about, on.

1. Which city were you born ___?
2. What sports are you good ___?
3. What kind of music are you interested ___?
4. Who do you live ___?
5. What sort of things do you worry ___?
6. What do you spend the most money ___?

32. Write questions that match the answers.

33. Write the words in order to complete the questions. Then answer the questions.

1. your – What – name – is – full ?
2. old – you – How – are ?
3. you – born – When – were ?
4. come – you – do – from – Where?
5. Where – you – now – do – live ?
6. arrive – you – When – here – did ?
7. finish – you – did – school – When ?
8. good – subjects – were – What – at – you ?
9. you – English – at – good – Were ?
10. now – do – What – you – do ?
11. you – to – university – apply – Which – did ?
12. are – graduation – going – upon – to be – you – What ?
13. sort – you – What – of – are – person ?
14. What – in – you – interested – are ?
15. favourite – are – activities – What – your – leisure ?

34. Read the text and do the tasks below.

Hello. My name is Paul Simon. I am British. I am from Bristol, which is situated on the river Avon, in the South–West of England. I’m a language student at Christ Church College in Oxford. Christ Church College is quite famous and I’m proud to be a student of it. I’m twenty. I’m not married yet, I’m single. My new friends are from various countries – Spain, Italy, France, Ger­many, Holland and Japan, too. We are very friendly but it isn’t quite easy to understand each other. You see, our accents are so different! Sabine is French. Her home town is Bordeaux. She is in her late teens. Sabine is very smart and her English is rather good. She is keen on clas­sical music and art. Mr Lewis, our language teacher is from Manchester. He is intelligent, experienced and always ready to help. My favourite subjects are Litera­ture and History. I’m also interested in Natural Sciences and I’m good at sports. My hobbies are table tennis and computer games.

Am I happy here? Yes, sure. The only trouble is my parents are far away and I feel a bit lonely sometimes.

35. Are the following sentences true or false? If false, say why.

1. Paul is British.

2. He is a History student.

3. His friends are from Britain and Holland.

4. Mr Lewis is a young and inexperienced teacher.

5. Sabine is from France.

6. It’s not easy to understand Sabine because of her French accent.

7. Paul is interested in History and Litera­ture.

8. He is keen on music and art.

9. Paul is proud to be a student at Christ Church College.

36. Here are the answers to some questions about the text. Ask the questions.

SOCIAL ENGLISH

INTRODUCING YOURSELF AND OTHERS

37. “Breaking the ice” is an idiom that means getting to know someone. An atmosphere that was cold becomes warm. Now we will break the ice by introducing ourselves.

Activity 1. Introducing yourself

A. When you meet someone for the first time, it is customary to introduce yourself.

Some expressions used:

My name is ... / My name’s ...

I’m ... (first name, last name)

Hi / Hello

How do you do?

B. Go over this dialogue:

Neil:	Hello. Are you a student here?
Ami:	Yes, I am.
Neil:	So am I. My name’s Neil Bois.
Ami:	How do you do? I’m Ami Frank.
Neil:	I’m pleased to meet you. Is Frank your first name or your last name?
Ami:	My last name.
Neil:	Neil’s my first name. Please call me Neil.
Ami:	Okay, Neil, and please call me Ami.
Neil:	Okay, Ami.

Activity 2. Preparing to Introduce Someone

A. Here are some expressions used when we want to introduce someone:

I’d like to introduce ...

I’d like you to meet ...

Can I introduce you to ...

Quan, this is Rodolfo.

This is my friend, Jack. — Hi, Jack. I’m Linda.

(After an introduction)

Nice to meet you. — Nice to meet you too.

B. These types of introductions involve three people:

A: The introducer (who knows both B and C)

B: Introducee (knows A but not C)

C: Introducee (knows A but not B)

Example:

A: Have you two met each other?

B: No, we haven’t.

A: Ben, this is Carol. Carol this is Ben. (B and C smile and shake hands.)

B: Nice to meet you Carol.

C: Nice to meet you too, Ben.

C. After you have been introduced to someone, it is polite to ask a few general questions to get acquainted.

For example:

B: Where are you from, Carol?

C: I’m from Connecticut.

B: Connecticut, which part?

C: Hartford, the capital. How about you, Ben?

B: Nebraska – a place called Bellevue. It’s near Omaha.

C: How do you know Alan?

B: He is my friend from college.

D. Work in small groups. Practise introducing your friends to each other. Remember to smile (and use handshakes where appropriate).

E. The purpose of this activity is to get information about another person, and then introduce him/her to the class. You will be working in pairs. Here are some questions to use:

1. What’s your name?

1. Where are you from?
2. Do you work? If not, what do you do?
3. When did you arrive here?
4. Do you have a hobby?
5. What are three things you like and three things you dislike?

38. Read through the following paragraph and practise introducing yourself to a roomful of people.

How to Introduce Yourself to a Roomful of People

At times, a self-introduction may be one-sided – such as when a roomful¹ of people are asked to introduce themselves. In this case, you may be asked to provide specific information, but at other times you may be free to respond in any manner you choose. The first case is easy – just remember to include a greeting, your name, and all the requested information (regardless² of the responses of previous³ participants).

Focus On Three Things Only

When the introduction details are your choice, be conversational and brief, focusing on only three things. The idea is to build rapport⁴. By choosing just three things, your introduction will be more memorable. For example, for a very short introduction I might say something like,

“Hi, everyone. I’m Lisa, Lisa Marshall. I’m a professional speaker and author who enjoys dancing and photography.”

For a longer answer I might say something like…

“Hi, everyone. I’m Lisa, Lisa B. Marshall. I’m a professional speaker and author. I specialize in communication skills and I’m excited because my new audiobook on interviewing skills will be released shortly. I enjoy dancing, although⁴ I’m not that good at it. I really love Latin music and salsa dancing is my favourite. I also enjoy photography. In fact, I am thinking of buying myself a digital SLR⁵ for my upcoming birthday.”

Lisa B. Marshall

_________________________

¹ roomful – полная комната (людей, гостей и т.п.)

² regardless – не обращая внимания, невзирая на

³ previous – предыдущий, предшествующий

⁴ build rapport – установить контакт с кем-л.

⁵ although – хотя

⁶ digital SLR (digital single-lens reflex camera) – цифровой однообъективный зеркальный фотоаппарат

SPEAKING

39. Make notes about yourself under the headings, then talk about yourself.

· a greeting;

· some words about who you are and where you are from (name; place of origin / where you live);

· your occupation;

· your likes and dislikes;

· your hobbies;

· your dreams or plans for the future.

GUESSING GAME

40. Work in pairs following the instruction:

Student A. Think about a famous person you know something about (an artist, a musician, a politician ...). Write down in note form some details of their life (date and place of birth; what sort of family he/she was born into; education; career; first job; what he/she was famous for, etc.). Bring your notes to the lesson.

· Do not reveal their identity. Use he or she.

• Use the time expressions (at the age of; after that; during is/her life ...).

Student B. Ask student A questions to find out as much as you can about the famous person and try to guess his/her name.

READING

41. Read and learn how “social language rules” work in English.

TEXT 1

Politeness Conventions

The basic principle of politeness is to show respect for the partner. The principle can be embodied in a number of maxims¹:

1. Do not be dogmatic. Remember that the partner may have a different opinion. This maxim implies²:

a) The use of I think, I believe, I expect as introducers or as tags. If they are unstressed, their use does not indicate uncertainty³ or lack of confidence⁴.

I think his mother is Italian. She comes from Calabria, I believe.

b) The use of you know, of course to imply that the partner is not ignorant.

Of course, his mother is Italian, you know.

с) The use of tag questions to invite the partner’s agreement (falling intonation) or confirmation⁵ (rising intonation).

His mother is Italian, isn’t she?

2. Be reluctant⁶ to say what may distress or displease the partner. This maxim implies such strategies as:

a) Expressing the reluctance:

I don’t want to be difficult but … (e.g. this machine doesn’t work).

I don’t like saying so, but … (e.g. the music is too loud).

b) Seeking the partner’s agreement:

I hope you don’t mind …

Don’t you agree that …?

с) Apologizing or expressing regret:

I’m sorry but … (your work is not good enough).

I’m afraid you can’t smoke in here.

3. Do not force the partner to act. Allow him to appear to act voluntarily. This maxim implies:

a) Adding please whenever you call for action by the partner.

Where is the toilet, please? (asking the information)

A return ticket, please. (requesting something)

Sit down, please. (giving instructions, orders)

b) Avoiding⁷ simple imperatives⁸ when asking the partner to do something for you. Instead, ask if he

· is willing to act: Will you open the window, please?

· is able to act: Can you open this tin for me, please?

· wishes to act: Would you like to help me, please?

_________________________

¹ maxim – максима (краткое изречение, выражающее общеизвестную истину, правило поведения или этический принцип)

² imply – предполагать, подразумевать, заключать в себе, значить

³ uncertainty – неуверенность, нерешительность

⁴ confidence – уверенность, убеждённость

⁵ confirmation – подтверждение

⁶ reluctant – делающий что-л. с большой неохотой, вынужденный

⁷ avoid – избегать

⁸ imperative – повелительное наклонение, императив; повеление; распоряжение

TEXT 2

How to Be a Good Listener?

Careful listening can build good relations. It can help you make friends and settle arguments.

Some practical advice

SHOW YOUR INTEREST

a) non-verbally – letting your ‘body lan­guage’ show that you are paying attention: nodding¹ your head, frequently looking the person in the eye, etc. When seated lean² forward slightly. Don’t scowl³, frown, fold your arms, etc.

b) verbally – inviting the speaker to say more, e.g. by saying: I see. Really? Oh? Tell me more.

DO NOT INTERRUPT

Pay attention to the speaker. Don’t inter­rupt⁴ him/her even though you think you know what the speaker is going to say. Save your thoughtsuntil the other person has fin­ished talking.

SUM UP WHAT HAS BEEN SAID

Restate (paraphrase)what the other person has said in your own words.This will tell the speaker whether you understood what he or she said, and it will give the speaker a chance to explain again and correct any misunderstanding. Ask questions if necessary. Typical phrases used in beginning a clarify­ing⁵ response: Are you saying (restatein other words)? I heard you say (then summarize).

LISTEN FOR FEELINGS

In paraphrasing the other person’s ideas don’t mimic or parrot⁶ his/her exact words. Also, avoid any indication of approval⁷ or disapproval. Refrain from blaming⁸, giving advice or persuading⁹. For example, the phrase "Oh, you shouldn’t let that upset¹⁰ you!" suggests that the per­son’s feelings are wrong. But feelings are not right or wrong – they just are. Sometimes people just want to express their feelings – they are not looking for advice.

If you have something to offer, ask first. Try to show understanding and acceptanceof the other person’s feelings or experience. For example, say “Yes, I see that this is important to you”, or “I understand (appre­ciate, value) what it means to you (or how it makes you feel)”, or “It’s really sad (great, emotional, amazing, unfair, etc.).”

Especially important is to show under­standing and acceptance of the other per­son’s expressed feelings or opinions when you want to disagree, or when you have dif­ferent opinion or perspective. In this case it is appropriate to say “What you have said is really important (you can repeat the per­son’s statement). There is something that I want to add (point out, mention).

Smiling is one of the most important indi­cators of a good listener! This does not mean laughing at someone, or grinning, or an ironic face. Just keeping a friendly smile on your face, nodding your head and saying "uhm..." from time to time will get you the recognition of a good listener and a nice person. This will be an important message to another person, which will indicate that you are happy to be in his/her company, that you are paying attention to the con­versation, and you are not preoccupied with your own stressful or sad thoughts instead of listening.

_________________________

¹ nod – кивнуть головой

² lean – наклоняться; склоняться

³ scowl – хмуриться, хмурить брови; смотреть сердито

⁴ inter­rupt – обрывать, прерывать

⁵ clarify – прояснить

⁶ parrot – механически повторять

⁷ approval – одобрение; благоприятное мнение

⁸ blame – порицать, осуждать, критиковать

⁹ persuade – убеждать (в чём-л.); урезонивать

¹⁰ upset – расстраивать, огорчать

DID YOU KNOW?

93 per cent of our communica­tion with others is non-verbal. What we actu­ally say makes up only seven per cent of the picture! That’s what US scientist Ray Birdwhistell found out when he began to study body language back in the 1950s. He filmed conversations and then played them back in slow motion to examine gestures, expressions and posture¹. When he noticed the same move­ments happening again and again, he realised that the body can talk too!

We use our bodies to send mes­sages all the time. We nod instead of saying “Yes^”, shrug our shoulders to mean “I don’t know”, or raise our eye­brows to show surprise.

But even when we don’t want other people to know how we’re feel­ing, our body language can give us away². The way we sit or stand, the expression on our face can reveal³ far more than words.

_________________________

¹ give away – выдавать, разоблачать (кого-л.)

² posture – положение тела, поза

³ reveal – обнаруживать, показывать

Follow-up

42. Answer the following questions.

1. What are the basic maxims of politeness?

2. What makes a good listener?

3. What are the most important indi­cators of a good listener?

4. Do you agree that paralinguistic features (body language, gesture, eye contact, facial expression, etc.) are very important in real communication?

43. Express the following in one word.

1. lacking information or knowledge

1. lack of confidence
2. lack of willingness
3. feel sorry about something that has happened
4. say sorry
5. make someone do something that they do not want to do
6. tell someone about a feeling, opinion, etc. / show a feeling on your face or give information by your behaviour

44. Find a synonym in the box for each underlined word or phrase.

1. There’s nothing to be sorry about. You haven’t done anything wrong.
2. Go and say sorry to your mother, Andrew.
3. She showed a complete lack of interest in her own baby.
4. Facial expression and gesture are almost as important as language for expressing meaning.
5. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I was leaving.

45. Choose a word from the box to complete each sentence. Some words may be used more than once.

1. That was an awful thing to say – I think you should ___.
2. I always find it hard to ___ my feelings.
3. You need patience and ___ to be a good teacher.
4. I must ___ for my son’s behaviour – he isn’t usually this moody.
5. Do you want my ___? I think you’re taking a terrible risk.
6. Mr Johnson thinks it’s too risky, and I tend to ___ with him.
7. She pretended she wasn’t excited but the ___ on her face gave her away.
8. She could be very good at this work, but she lacks ___.

46. Read and learn how different nations behave in the same situations. Think about whether this is different in your culture.

Saying it without words

Good manners are manifested not only in the way we speak but also in the way we move. Mind your mimics and your body language, don’t gestic­ulate too much. These are the general rules, but much depends on national traditions. Say, handshaking in Great Britain is not so widely used as in Europe. Older people in Britain usually shake hands when they meet for the first time, but young people don’t do this very often. In France, many people of all ages shake hands every time they see each other – they say the French spend 20 minutes a day shaking hands! In Britain, men often kiss women friends once or twice on the cheek and women sometimes kiss each other too, but men don’t usually kiss each other. However, men in the Arab world often hug and kiss each other on the cheek. Meanwhile, in Japan, people bow when they meet each other; neither men nor women kiss in public.

When Americans meet and speak, there is about a 2–4 feet distance between them. However, if you watch a Japanese speaking to an American you will see him moving towards the American, trying to shorten the distance between them, which makes the American move backwards. Video recordings of this phenomenon give an impression that both men are danc­ing around the conference room. It partly explains why, when negotiating business, Asians and Americans sometimes misunderstand each other, the Americans thinking of the Asians as “too familiar” and the Asians regarding the Americans as “too cold” and “too official”.

Americans like people who smile and agree with them, but Australians are more interested in people who disagree with them. So sometimes Americans think Australians are rude and unfriendly, and Australians think polite friendly Americans are boring! In Europe, it’s friendly to smile at strangers, but in many Asian countries it isn’t polite. And in Japan you must cover your mouth when you smile or laugh.

In Western cultures, young people and adults look each other in the eye during a conversation to show interest and trust, but in many Asian countries, it’s rude to look people in the eye, especially a superior such as a teacher. In Britain and the United States it isn’t polite to stare at strangers, but Indians often look long and thoughtfully at people they don’t know.

In Britain, it’s polite to respond during conversations and to make comments to show that you’re interested. But in parts of Northern Europe and in Japan, it’s quite common for people to stay silent when someone is talking to them. In China, Japan, and Korea, young people don’t usually start conversations with adults and only speak if an adult speaks to them. In contrast, Americans encourage young people to start conversations.

47. Read the text again, then ask and answer questions based on it.

48. In groups collect information about cultural differences in verbal and nonverbal communication. Use the Internet or other sources. Prepare a quiz for your groupmates.